I was at an event the other night and saw a friend I hadn’t seen in person for awhile. We chatted for a bit and as she was leaving she gave me a hug and said “by the way, you look good.” Naturally I thanked her and didn’t think much of it until I got home that night.
I took a look at myself in the mirror. Do you ever stop and do that? Like truly look at yourself? And I saw that yes, my hair looked good, my makeup still looked surprisingly good for how late in the day it was, and I had a cute outfit on. But you know what I saw as I truly looked at myself? A spark in my eyes and smile wrinkles. I saw happiness.
I’m not saying that I haven’t been happy before now, but I think lately I’ve really reached a good place. And the first rule of Good Place Club is don’t talk about Good Place Club in case you jinx it right? But for reals, I’m relaxed and feeling this strange peace I don’t think I’ve had for quite some time.
I haven’t shared everything and maybe never will, but if you’ve been reading awhile you’ve read how in the first couple of years after having Ollie there was a lot of change and transition in my life beyond just adjusting to parenthood. Things went down that I never expected to happen and I most definitely came out the other side, but I think the recovery period from some of it was a lot longer than I initially realized. And I think I’m finally getting to that point of being over most all of it.
In one of Kesha’s new releases (which OMG can we talk about this new album of hers? It is fan-freaking-tastic and the first album in awhile that’s making me want to buy a physical CD) called “Learn to Let Go” there’s a great line that says “My happy ending is up to me.” Somehow I think I finally figured that out. And what a wonderful feeling that is.
When my friend told me I looked good the other night I’m pretty sure she wasn’t referring to all this deep stuff I just mentioned, but she woke me up to it. I do look good. I feel good (aside from the summer cold from hell my child shared with me that is!) and I’m going to own that shit. My happy ending is up to me. And happiness looks good on me.
Linking up with Penny’s Passion